Guys I Am Not Dating

So Le copain français n'est plus, and has been ne plus for a couple of months now. The heartbreak is healing and I'm done wallowing in sorrow; now I'm ready for some distraction. I have been told in no uncertain terms by multiple people that I am Not Allowed to Date Coworkers Anymore, particularly with starting a new job. Clearly I need to find a new pool of men.

They say a great place to meet someone to date is volunteering for something you care about or just doing the activities you enjoy most. I spend my free time volunteering with the Girl Scouts and hanging out with my sorority alumnae group. Why haven't I met any available men?!

So I updated my dating site profiles (with help from some friends and a bottle of wine) and put myself back out there into the internet dating world. In the interests of privacy (both mine and the boys') I'm not planning to write about the guys I am dating. I will, however, tell you about the ones I am NOT going to be dating!

1: Guy I found via the "who's viewed your profile" list. His profile kindly requests that you not contact him if you are a "hippy, treehugger, or gay rights activist." I somehow think he would think my relatively centrist viewpoint was complete left-wing mumbo jumbo.

2: Guy who emailed me and didnt use apostrophes where necessary,or any spaces after punctuation.Like this.Very annoying.And surprisingly hard for me to type as an example!His emails would make my eyes bleed after 3 lines.

3. Guy who's wife cheated on him, left him for the other guy, and neither of them have filed the divorce papers yet - and he says so in the first paragraph of his profile. "I'm ready for a woman who won't break my heart." No honey, you're ready for a good therapist. Maybe in 6-9 months you might be ready to date. But I'm not a therapist, and I'm not looking for someone I have to fix.

Thankfully there appear to be a few witty, articulate, and possibly cute ones floating around out there in addition to the above!